changed

maybe i m more sensible now...
maybe i forgt about the enjoyment in life...
maybe...i am just running away and hiding...
i dunno but i noe i changed...

as i read her blog...i was back into the type of feeling i had maybe a few months ago.

a few months ago, i would think that shopping is fun...
a few months ago, i would think that gossiping is cool and interesting...
a few months ago, i would think that walking around a without any aim is enjoyable...

but now it is just all different...

i can't stand the shopping, the noise, the walking around without any aim. i feel that i have more impt thing to do, things like hwk and maybe studying. As i gt exposed more to the reality of the outside world and not only to my small school, i feel that i have bigger things to do than just walking around. i had to fight proverty! lolx. yea

but as i read her blog. i feel those old feelings back, i feel her love in him and i just went back to before. i should grow up. i want to be sensible and put all these feelings away. the truth is i m guilty of always taking her away from where she wants to be just to do things that i want to do. aren't i just selfish?

today, i saw her face of uncertainty...
today, i saw her face of not wanting...

YET i still did that...did i do it correctly?

before i read her blog, it was a perfect yes, but after...i feel that i was bad...she did not want to yet just cuz of me she did that...maybe i shouldn't expect so much from her...she seems so strong at the front...yet i had never noe she felt like this inside...

i did the right thing for my sake but not hers...sorrie charm...